“Here is what a Polish citizen living in the United
States told the writer Laura Klos Sokol about Americans: ‘When Americans
say it was great, I know it was good. When they say it was good, I know
it was okay. When they say it was okay, I know it was bad.’”
—
Eric Weiner, The Geography of
Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World
[L enjoying some of my homemade, baked mac 'n cheese. 9.5.2011.]
a weird thing happened when i got to germany. well, maybe weird isn't the right word. rather, let's say an unexpected thing happened:
i started cooking. that's not the unexpected part. i'm an au pair, of course i'm going to cook. the unexpected part was the love i discovered i had for cooking. deep in a usually unnoticed part of my heart i happened upon a love for cooking. for getting my hands and practically my whole self covered in flour. wiping off my brow with my forearm, attempting to keep the sauce covering my hands out of my hair. enjoying a piece of bread - bread you kneaded with your own hands, bread you watched rise before your eyes - you will never enjoy a meal so much as one you made yourself. from scratch. it's a magical, fulfilling kind of enjoyment. it's something i had never quite experienced before my time in germany.
so now, happening upon new recipes, how-to videos (like the brilliant one below), & sites full of tips, i get giddy. i literally feel myself smile from the inside out. i love it. and i'm so happy that i can leave this adventure with such new appreciations and loves. and let me tell ya, my familia will certainly be glad, too. ; )
[train ride from berlin to eckernförde. 7.30.2011]
even when you feel like you’ve
been swept away. when you wonder if maybe you’ve lost yourself or lost
your ground. you stop & think & look & there you are.
always there. always you. even if when it’s barely visible, a hint, an echo, a sheer layer of chiffon, the you that’s really you is always there.
august brought with it laughter, a bit of homesickness, new friends, wonderful moments of growing & many, many miles of exploring.
i had my first experience at a diskotek: we danced (with new friends) until 6 in the morning. i danced on the table to Party in the USA. i laughed so hard when this song & this song came on, i couldn't even dance. note: it was a popular club, with lots of teenagers. this type of playlist would not have gone over well in america.
i embraced german hits such as this.
i went climbing in the forest: i climbed obstacles that were both exhausting and terrifying. i only lost my shoe once and had to tell only one group of teenage boys to find something else to watch and judge.
i got accepted into uni.
it was a great month.
Suddenly I realize
That if I stepped out of my body I would break
Into blossom.
There comes the strangest moment in your life,
when everything you thought before breaks free--
what you relied upon, as ground-rule and as rite
looks upside down from how it used to be.
Skin's gone pale, your brain is shedding cells;
you question every tenet you set down;
obedient thoughts have turned to infidels
and every verb desires to be a noun.
I want--my want. I love--my love. I'll stay
with you. I thought transitions were the best,
but I want what's here to never go away.
I'll make my peace, my bed, and kiss this breast…
Your heart's in retrograde. You simply have no choice.
Things people told you turn out to be true.
You have to hold that body, hear that voice.
You'd have sworn no one knew you more than you.
How many people thought you'd never change?
But here you have. It's beautiful. It's strange.
i love walking this path everyday -- whether we're off to the beach or i'm picking up some eggs at the market, i always cherish these moments. though simple, they are beautiful.
today we went to the kindergarten's sommerfest. there were cakes galore & kids running about dawning crowns made of flowers. it felt like something straight out of a picture or book. it was a lovely way to spend a june afternoon. (especially when it was only around 60 degrees! love love love germany's weather.)
